I am the type of person who has difficulty maintaining friendships. I never thought my life was super unstable but there were definitely some unstable aspects. I was never taught how to be a friend and I did not interact with classmates outside of school. I did not interact with others kids in my neighborhood much either. There are several reasons for this, one of which is on account of social anxiety.
Slowly, over the years, I have been trying to get over my social anxiety because I feel that it was (and still is) holding me back. It held me back in school both socially and academically (darn those teachers who make talking in class part of a grade). It held me back in my personal life (my inability to engage in meaningful relationships with family members and friends). It drove me nuts quite frankly.
So here I am, 25, been single for so long. But I am ready to move on with my life. I would like to date. I would like to make friends and have amazing friendships with them. I would like to be a better friend to the friends I already have. But it takes work and I am a work in progress.
I do not think this is a hopeless or even daunting task. But it is a bit unnerving. I still have trouble saying how I feel but I’ll get there.
In the meantime, I need to get back on my writing.